He's still on the phone with him. This is unnatural. Dudes don't call other dudes just to talk.
so she asked me if I thought she was fat and naturally I said no..... but I think she might catch on
who is she? I really hope you have an explanation cause either you think I'm fat or you're cheating on me
so what if he's got a new girlfriend. the guy i'm fucking has an english accent. i win.
new excercise plan: walk a mile get a bj then walk a mile home
You know you're on day 1 of your period when the new mcdonalds commercial makes you cry
I wouldn't take my shot so you poured it on my face. Twice.
She had the hiccups when she was giving me head. It was actually pretty awesome
we got cut off at 8 am. He spilled his drink three times on the plane. this should be one hell of a vegas trip
How do the freshmen here NOT understand the tricks we are playing on them by now? Doesn't bode well for grad numbers. Idiots.
do you think they make 'sorry for walking in on you drunkenly jacking of to a picture of me' cards?
Yeah if I don't text back. I'm eating. sleeping. Or lifting. Or drinking. Or playing call of duty. Like shit man
Fireball goes down like mother's milk. Btw your housemate is naked
It's not a funeral, it's a celebration of life. Going commando AND braless is really just honoring him!
He can be a kind, caring soul but also give in to the temptation of eating unicorn ass.
Right now I'm laying face down on my carpet in my living room in the darkness sending work emails from my phone.
It's a glamorous life.
Randomize
