is hooking up with someone you used to babysit wrong?
dude. i was so high. i watched shrek in russian.
Even water is tasting like jack daniels
Some chick in the back of my Psychologhy of Addictions class just did a line off her hand. She tried to make it look subtle.
She passed out in the backyard, making "face down" snow angels ... so they could have a smile.
was his dick as big as our hopes and dreams?
we've got reservations. ask for the eat a bag of dicks table
Everything smells like vodka and bologna. WHAT DID YOU DO?
What happened to my knees?
You ate shit in front of the homeless people. They applauded.
Probably won't be invited back there again considering last time his purebred corgi ate my pot brownie and had to be rushed to the hospital.
I just forgot I was standing up.
CUT OFF ALL YOUR HAIR COME ON MAN LET'S DO THIS
if anyone asks you the platypus in my bathtub is a gift...thats all anyone needs to know
Dude, I need a fuckin wingman and this could finally make us eskimo brothers, how can you pass that up?
So were driving two hours to go to a club and Charles packed me a sippy cup full of tequila. He thinks of everything!
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