Dear __, it'd be a lot easier to fuck if you ever responded. So I'm throwing in the white towel, since I no longer know what you want. Sincerely, ___
He had on juicy sweatpants and thats when i knew he was no longer a threat.
she gave up head for lent, but she said sex was still fair game
That's ok. I found a crab leg in my bed and have no pants on.
sooo my mom just yelled up the stairs " you left your bowl down by the computer"....aaand for a second I forgot cereal bowls still existed
he likes to slap my ass alot untill he missed and hit his own balls poor bastard kept on going.
She just started grabbing all the hospital's rubber gloves and face masks and shoving them in her purse, saying, "My tax money paid for these!"
We're pretty much just dating until one of our ex's wants us back
WHY AM I THE ONLY ONE CONCERNED ABOUT THE SEAGULL IN THE OVEN
I can't wait for you to tell me about your sex.
It's a short, short story.
I don't trust a bar IN TENNESSEE that doesn't have Jack Daniels.
He grabbed my tits and sang "you are so beautiful" to them before faceplanting into my chest
i'm not so sure everythign we did last night was legal...
So I scratched the whole boyfriend plan and got wasted. Wanna try again tomorrow?
You could cut the tension with my nipples.
Randomize
