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• (703): View more from Virginia

  Joe is a total sociopath, I'm going to hook up with him tonight

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• (504): View more from Louisiana

  insurance, jail, and birth control were made for people like us.

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• (802): View more from Vermont

  Someone sent me a drink from across the bar. It was water.

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• (+44): View more from United Kingdom

  You've had your dick in my mouth. I don't think there are all that many barriers in our friendship at this point.

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• 

  19 Characteristics That Make People Instantly Attractive

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• (608): View more from Wisconsin

  all of the sudden, the other guy at the bar who was celebrating his birthday got a super inspired look on his face and then screamed at me ''our parents fucked on the same day!''

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• (772): View more from Florida

  Also txt me when you take your first dump of the year... I'd like to synchronize if that's at all possible.

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• (515): View more from Iowa

  P.S. It's common courtesy to let the girl your banging know if she's about to walk into the same place your girlfriend is at so she can get her poker face ready

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• (510): View more from California

  but I'll probably watch some porn later so it's not a complete waste of a Saturday night.

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• (704): View more from North Carolina

  I remember fighting the chubby dude and the bouncer put me in the full Nelson. Woke up this morning with a dislocated shoulder. We need to finish the rest of this beer though

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• 

  25 People Confess What They’re Shamefully Attracted To

  Read it at the TFLN blog
  

• (719): View more from Colorado

  I'm calling it the Friendlationship with Benefits Zone.

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• (580): View more from Oklahoma

  true friends will drive 3 hours to come smoke a couple blunts with you on the bridge where your car broke down

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• (260): View more from Indiana

  as he was fingering me, all I was thinking about was how lucky his girlfriend is...

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• (619): View more from California

  Shitty. Well if it makes you feel any better I just had a toothless wasted crackhead in my bar who was mad because there are TOO MANY FUCKIN TREES in Nantucket.

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• (405): View more from Oklahoma

  I was just hotboxing under my sheets and I got lost on the way out.

  (405): View more from Oklahoma

  It was so scary.

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• (918): View more from Oklahoma

  It's like the dark age of my sex life being stuck here

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