Texts From Last Night

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  (703): View more from Virginia

  No more parties with babies... I can't do that again.

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  (703): No more parties with babies... I can't do that again. http://tfl.nu/7ry4
  Replies (10) Good night (712) Bad night (2849)
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  (303): View more from Colorado

  How can it be called memorial day weekend....I don't even remember this weekend

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  (303): How can it be called memorial day weekend....I don't even remember this weekend http://tfl.nu/ip7i
  Replies (18) Good night (4548) Bad night (1171)
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  (201): View more from New Jersey

  Don't get the hula weed. It makes you sleep walk in destructive and confusing ways. I'll explain on Saturday.

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  (201): Don't get the hula weed. It makes you sleep walk in destructive and confusing ways. I'll explain on Saturday. http://tfl.nu/gpxr
  Replies (5) Good night (3020) Bad night (916)
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  (316): View more from Kansas

  Bad news. I lost my teeth. Good news. I can still take a guy home sans teeth.

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  (316): Bad news. I lost my teeth. Good news. I can still take a guy home sans teeth. http://tfl.nu/ew3b
  Replies (8) Good night (1030) Bad night (3462)
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  (518): View more from New York

  You said, "can you make out with him for a little bit, I need a break."

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  (518): You said, "can you make out with him for a little bit, I need a break." http://tfl.nu/3ss4
  Replies (11) Good night (4568) Bad night (870)
• Favorite

  (719): View more from Colorado

  Found your pants. They were stuffed in the tank of the toilet.

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  (719): Found your pants. They were stuffed in the tank of the toilet. http://tfl.nu/ctww
  Replies (3) Good night (1285) Bad night (1727)
• Favorite

  (778): View more from British Columbia

  I think we need to teach you what straight means again

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  (778): I think we need to teach you what straight means again http://tfl.nu/9bex
  Replies (3) Good night (1244) Bad night (465)
• Favorite

  (712): View more from Iowa

  Dude, chad is laying across the room, violently, passionately, pornographicly eating something and I seriously think the 'some thing' is fighting back.

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  (712): Dude, chad is laying across the room, violently, passionately, pornographicly eating something and I seriously think the 'some thing' is fighting back. http://tfl.nu/llib
  Replies (11) Good night (478) Bad night (754)
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  (403): View more from Alberta, CA

  I am his drunk Jesus. I will love him from afar because he's my little lamb

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  (403): I am his drunk Jesus. I will love him from afar because he's my little lamb http://tfl.nu/fhfr
  Replies (1) Good night (510) Bad night (517)
• Favorite

  (903): View more from Texas

  There's a naked man in my car right now.

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  (903): There's a naked man in my car right now. http://tfl.nu/6qzb
  Replies (6) Good night (669) Bad night (296)
• Favorite

  (613): View more from Ontario

  He pointed at me, then leaned in and said "shes the best at blow jobs" then chris fist pumped him and said "dude, I know"

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  (613): He pointed at me, then leaned in and said "shes the best at blow jobs" then chris fist pumped him and said "dude, I know" http://tfl.nu/d7uq
  Replies (8) Good night (984) Bad night (646)
• Favorite

  (805): View more from California

  GOD DAMMIT TARYN WHY DO WE ALWAYS HAVE TO ROB PLACES IN OUR FUTURE PLANS?!

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  (805): GOD DAMMIT TARYN WHY DO WE ALWAYS HAVE TO ROB PLACES IN OUR FUTURE PLANS?! http://tfl.nu/avuc
  Replies (4) Good night (384) Bad night (265)
• Favorite

  (412): View more from Pennsylvania

  I drank a girls breast milk at this wedding. Shit was next level

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  (412): I drank a girls breast milk at this wedding. Shit was next level http://tfl.nu/bgaz
  Replies (3) Good night (445) Bad night (871)
• Favorite

  (773): View more from Illinois

  On my way home from the dentist. Was going to call and see if you would like to wake and bake, then remembered my sister is an adult

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  (773): On my way home from the dentist. Was going to call and see if you would like to wake and bake, then remembered my sister is an adult http://tfl.nu/j3ws
  Replies (0) Good night (444) Bad night (257)
• Favorite

  (479): View more from Arkansas

  Do you ever just feel like you can feel hormones radiating from your uterus?

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  (479): Do you ever just feel like you can feel hormones radiating from your uterus? http://tfl.nu/0nek
  Replies (4) Good night (546) Bad night (304)

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