Its like Laser Tag, but more fun because it ends in sex
I had to throw up. it was the only way to avoid kissing her after she swallowed..
Let me make this really simple. We woke up this morning and fucked three times. When I got up and took a shower she cleaned up the mess from last night and did the dishes. Then we went out and she bought me brunch. I don't give a FUCK how much you don't like her.
She just rubbed her face all over pool chalk. I feel like it's time to go
I've been living off of popsicles and broth.
For the first time in my life, I paid for my own alcoholic beverage last night. Am I getting ugly?
To be honest, kinda.
I found his retainer in my ass crack. It smells like shame.
My 16 year old neighbor is throwing a rager cuz her parents are out of town and my brother and I are sitting on the porch listening to A) someone fuck on the trampoline B) a girl bawling about her parents finding out C) someone puking in what we think is the hot tub. And overall we take a shot everytime someone says "bra"
It mathmatically balances. Less pants + more shirt = fully clothed. see? Not a whore!
No. I'm laying on the floor naked. I almost made it to the shower
This could be the definition of living by yourself
What kind of gift says "I'm sorry you accidentally stuck your hands in my puke (even though you should know better by now)"?
You shut your whore mouth, we don't talk about Drunk Nutella night.
I'm going as your incestuous sister. If thats not the perfect winglady I don't know what is.
In the words of my step grandma "whatever makes your pussy happy"
No idea who's grandma but people were just running around naked
Randomize
