I woke up this morning and "The Wood" was on tv. Touche TBS, touche.
What can i say im a girl who smells like weiners.
we were watching porn and trying to copy the position they were doing now i think my hip is dislocated
The more I look at him the more I wonder why anyone would ever want any of his features to be a part of their childs face.
He came on my chest. Sat back and said "hey it sorta looks like lake michigan!" kill me now...
I'm not gonna lie; I was dosed with mushrooms and am eating pickles with a guy in all white. It's weird, but I'm down. Help.
This will never work out with him unless I somehow learn how to unhinge my jaw like a python.
BTW waking up to a picture of you taking a shot of what I can only assume was shitty lukewarm liquor out of a blow up dolls butt made my day
I need to establish a pattern of dominance early.... I'm like a slutty Cesar Milan
Breakfast Clubbing as Juggalos. I can feel our IQs in freefall.
I just had to call my mom to come pick me up stoned at a Lana's house and beg her to buy me Taco Bell. I'm graduating from college in 14 hours. Fuck
Talking to her is like watching "Bad Life Choices: The Movie"
my poor anus
You owe me beer. On another note, I made out with the ups guy at work today ....
He sang a ten minute song about me sitting on his face and eating quesadillas. Pretty sure I have to marry him.