ADVERTISEMENT

• (516): View more from New York

  I'm pretty sure he came before I knew he was inside me.. Didn't think that was his plan when he said he was gonna do things I've never experienced before

  Fav 60 967 5267

  share tweet
  

• (925): View more from California

  i just keep taking vicodin and supergluing random shit

  Fav 46 5349 1320

  share tweet
  
ADVERTISEMENT

• (573): View more from Missouri

  i would eat my own dick if it were covered in nutella

  Fav 34 6550 2559

  share tweet
  

• (608): View more from Wisconsin

  the last thing i remember saying is "hope you like body hair"

  Fav 13 1242 4248

  share tweet
  
• 

  23 Men Confess The Moment They Realized They Wanted A Divorce

  Read it at the TFLN blog
  

• (512): View more from Texas

  Before you even think your day was worse than mine, I had to disinfect and and stitch another dude's penis after his prince Albert got ripped out by an angry chick.

  Fav 12 809 3593

  share tweet
  

• (919): View more from North Carolina

  being a senior sucks, I just started embracing my inner slutty college girl, and it's almost time to put her away...for like, ever. and i really like her.

  Fav 13 2205 858

  share tweet
  
ADVERTISEMENT

• (303): View more from Colorado

  Props to the guy on crutches playing edward forty hands. Dedicated to drinking games is an understatement.

  Fav 2 1619 757

  share tweet
  

• (502): View more from Kentucky

  You ever got drunk on $5? Cuz it's about to happen

  Fav 13 1610 679

  share tweet
  

• (630): View more from Illinois

  How the fuck you gonna play love don't cost a thing in a strip club?

  Fav 4 1367 698

  share tweet
  
• 

  The 23 Most Inappropriate Things To Happen At A Funeral

  Read it at the TFLN blog
  

• (813): View more from Florida

  Next Halloween I want us to dress up as jockeys, get drunk, and ride a carousel all night until we throw up or declare a winner

  Fav 5 1139 540

  share tweet
  

• (256): View more from Alabama

  I woke up hugging a box of cheerios that had "wonder woman" written in sharpie on it. So much for a sober night.

  Fav 0 759 509

  share tweet
  
ADVERTISEMENT

• (410): View more from Maryland

  I am going to MURDER whoever gave him my phone number but it was probably drunk me so I'm conflicted.

  Fav 1 983 562

  share tweet
  

• (210): View more from Texas

  Thanks for bringing that stuff to help me feel better...you know, the water, the Gatorade, and the dick. You really are the best friend ever.

  Fav 3 948 390

  share tweet
  

• (989): View more from Michigan

  I still can't believe I was army crawling thru his backyard at 2am..

  Fav 0 92 21

  share tweet
  
ADVERTISEMENT

• (703): View more from Virginia

  I need to learn how to not be a fucking liability

  Fav 2 65 9

  share tweet
  

Randomize