Joe is a total sociopath, I'm going to hook up with him tonight
insurance, jail, and birth control were made for people like us.
Someone sent me a drink from across the bar. It was water.
You've had your dick in my mouth. I don't think there are all that many barriers in our friendship at this point.
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all of the sudden, the other guy at the bar who was celebrating his birthday got a super inspired look on his face and then screamed at me ''our parents fucked on the same day!''
Also txt me when you take your first dump of the year... I'd like to synchronize if that's at all possible.
P.S. It's common courtesy to let the girl your banging know if she's about to walk into the same place your girlfriend is at so she can get her poker face ready
but I'll probably watch some porn later so it's not a complete waste of a Saturday night.
I remember fighting the chubby dude and the bouncer put me in the full Nelson. Woke up this morning with a dislocated shoulder. We need to finish the rest of this beer though
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I'm calling it the Friendlationship with Benefits Zone.
true friends will drive 3 hours to come smoke a couple blunts with you on the bridge where your car broke down
as he was fingering me, all I was thinking about was how lucky his girlfriend is...
Shitty. Well if it makes you feel any better I just had a toothless wasted crackhead in my bar who was mad because there are TOO MANY FUCKIN TREES in Nantucket.
I was just hotboxing under my sheets and I got lost on the way out.
It was so scary.
It's like the dark age of my sex life being stuck here