Right on... I dropped my chapstick
I blacked out
what's the vibe there?
extraordinary amounts of gine
the choice between paying your electricity bill and getting herpes medicine is a tough one.
No, I didn't like him that much. But I took one for the team. And by the team I mean me and my vagina.
the party we were at had security guards carrying paintball guns. that probably should have been the first sign
I wish the ER had shaved that part of my head. It would be easier to show people my staples at the bar.
My roommate didn't flush after her miscarriage. Time to drink myself blind. I need you for moral support. Or so I don't have to drunkenly cry alone anymore. Whatever, help.
Im making gravy in a lace bra and jeans. Just call me the southwern wet dream
I was going to make out with him...then he licked syrup off the kitchen floor.
Henceforth: booty calls will now be referred to as "deliveries of anatomy". That is all.
I've reached the last of the wine in my cup so now I have to sit up in my bed to get it through the crazy straw
Who else will cuddle and watch the Bachelor with me then finger bang me during the rose ceremony
I have wine with a bendy straw bitches I can do fucking anything
I just puked in a chili’s bathroom... happy birthday to me
Dammit. the window insulation sheets are too small for my windows. Yet again I am disappointed by size
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