He passed out while I was riding him, and just when I was about to call it quits he opens his eyes and squeezes my boobs and goes Honk! Honk!
Woke up with a raging boner...good feeling abt this trial
Your place is a magnet for either righteous parties or crippling alcohol dependency. Lets find out which together
Sounds good. I will just get tanked here and wear this batman mask.
The forecast for tonight is alcohol and low expectations.
You're the only meteorologist I listen to.
You can't play that off as role play thing. You held my hips and kept yelling "put a baby in me!" That shit ain't cool.
All I know is that every time I looked at my glass it was full again and I thought it would be rude not to drink it
i swear i was one second from getting his number and then the shrooms kicked in
This place is a maelstrom of dicks.
I mean as in stuck up bastards, not actual, desirable male genitalia. My point is, come pick me up fast, please!
So...I maybe walked across campus last night with my life size Joe Biden cut out.
I saw a drunk guy run across the street with an American flag between his buttcheeks.
Also, you fell asleep with you hand on and around my cock last night.
so i just realized the reason you didn't answer my call last night is because the remote isn't a phone.
Dude I pissed in her little brother's closet and when I tried to flush the doorknob her parents came out and saw me standing there naked, no more ambien for me
Ik youre sleeping but fyi its 5:32am I'm sitting in the middle of the road bra less and shoeless with boxers in my hand and no ride. Shits real crazy.
Randomize
