I think I saw a glimmer of recognition, but she must not have been able to make me out through all of her whorishness.
They need to add a relationship status option on fb that says "having the baby of..."
until you tell me otherwise ill assume we're playing "cavity search" the homeland security game to spice up our sex life
not sure what to think.... picked her up and her dad says "if you take her home, you'll regret it"
Please tell me I did not ask the bartender how big his dick was.
We're going to catch a squirrel this summer
Ok well hopefully you're not staging an intervention for me at your place because I'm bringing beers
You left a motherfucking bruise. ON MY TIT. How? How do you even. No.
Dude I just saw a beer truck w taps in the side... It's like god heard my prayers and sent me a gift from heaven
Dude, I have everything I need for meth here.
YOU ARE NOT ALLOWED TO MAKE METH IN OUR APARTMENT.
How did it feel to just observe all the people blacking out usually you're on the other end of things
I felt like I was at the zoo
I'm standing up, for my all my brothers and sisters, and fighting against whiskey dick.
Hey before you quit, let me sell drugs to your boss at least one more time
Nice. Ask if they watched saved by the bell. yes=legal. No=jailbait
Girls - I think I have a problem with stealing random shit when I'm drunk.
Randomize
