They past out watching a re-run of the 1984 presidential debate on cspan
Just mixed vicodin and mucinex. This cold just got fun.
Hi. I probably already told you this mid puke, but thanks again for babysitting me last night. How did I get in the car?
Article 1, law 1, section 1 of the apartment 25 party handbook: tarp will be purchased prior to any and all future parties. Aforementioned tarp will be placed on floor. Any and all sick patrons must relocate to tarp preceding the event of expulsion of bodily fluids. Failure to do so will result in ejection of guilty patron and banishment of the accused from succeeding party. All patrons must read and sign a copy before entry is granted.
The cops said we could pay $250 or spend the night in jail and get 2 free meals. I might pee in mail-boxes more often
Not much, really baked..... beethoven is AMAZING it's like i'm flying in space with baby jesus
I have hit nutritional rock bottom I am spreading peanut butter on to lays potato chips
Why did the fire extinguisher taste lemony?
I almost bumped into a man wrapped only in a blanket at 10 am
I never thought I would have to get vodka suctioned out of my ear
I've never been more scared for my virginity in my life. And I lost my virginity almost 6 years ago.
This guy at the airport was telling me 3/4 dudes in his group got rufied at some strip club. One guy woke up in the hospital, another found himself in a random parking garage, the other got back to the room and they all shit their pants. Go Vegas.
Welp, I just herniated a vocal cord during sex. How was your night?
Only in the emergency room do they shut the door when youre laughing too hard
I CAN SEE SO MANY PENISES. There are so many visible penises here.
Where are you???
Yoga class :(
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