before i could say "i'm not that kind of girl", i was.
What should our trivia night team be named?
Define Statutory
dude smells like cheese burgers and loose women...... i want his life
you told his mom that the only thing he wants for christmas is his dick in your mouth
after watching ten minutes of "the decision," I conclude that King Lebron has more influence on America than Barak Obama. I love our countries values.
The great thing about vietnam is that if I'm drunk during the day people just think I'm being white
Does peppermint hummus sound good or am I just high?
I wonder what it's like for my roommate to live bicuriously thro my sex life
Excuse me hold on, hooking up with someone who is verified on twitter is like being important.
It's all fun and games until some random starts jerking it on the deck.
Why the fuck was I face down on the floor with you mounting me like a horse anyway? I'm so confused
Definitely accidentally brought drugs into Disneyland. Considering using them.
He's got a beautiful penis, I can't lie
He literally shoved the EMT, climbed in the back of the ambulance with his vodka and was like, "C'mon, people. Wrap this up. I got shit to do."
we went outside for a smoke and when we came back in you were ptfo on the floor holding the phone to your ear. Pizza pizza was on the line.
Randomize
