Already got asked if we're dating
She highfived me after i yelled "I'm the clit-commander!" when i came. kevin smith fan and clearly a keeper
I saw a stripper quit while on stage to months ago nothing you tell me will amaze me
You asked me if you could throw up in my shoe.
We mailed him an 18 inch double headed dildo for his birthday. The Fedex guys certainly got a laugh out of it.
AT THIS RATE YOU WILL HAVE FUCKED MORE OF MY CLOSE FRIENDS THAN I HAVE PEOPLE PERIOD BY VALENTINE'S DAY.
I would have publicly shamed him but I'm pretty sure his tramp stamp did that on its own...
Yeah i just finished watching someone play ping pong with his penis it didn't fully register until after a few seconds
If sending nudes to tinder boy is considered functional then yes.
We just fucked each other sober. #goteam
While walking to class I was handed a red bull, condoms, and a mini bible. I love my school.
Just puked in front of a high school tour group. Based on the standing ovation, we have a solid group of freshman coming in this fall.
is it fun? or sober?
shit i just threw up on a freshman
i don't know if i should laugh or feel bad..
nevermind it was a sophmore, laugh.
It started with drunk jenga and ended with me simultaneously peeing and puking on his feet in the tub while he held me up. I met Tequila. I don't like her.
Randomize
