i want to fuck
?
it's pretty self explanatory
i left him drunk and in the fetal postion in the shower.
was the water running?
yeah but he said he knows how to swim
Just gave my manager part of my viccodin stash-my job is basically secured forever.
Somehow I don't trust you in this state to talk to you about a colonoscopy
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
just woke up to find an unpeeled banana, with a condom on, halfway into my vagina. this better not be you trying to be funny
Fuck. I'm going to pass the savings right on to the strippers. It's trickle down economics.
She just hopped out of the car at a red light to pet the baby Jesus in the nativity scene.
Not worth it.
I feel like I should be doing a victory lap around my house to the rocky music, or zapping and smiting people with my mystic wizard powers
Some kid just popped open a giant PBR and walked into his final...
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
"You can go raw dog up in me". Exact words. I can't decide whether to run, or fuck. Help.
My ex-fiancee UPS-ed me a sixer of tall boys, and a fifth of bourbon for christmas, from halfway across the country. What does this mean?
I repeat do not go to a jail visit drunk, those stools are easy to fall off.
If he comes over I probably get to fuck him and if he doesn't I don't have to pay him the $60 I owe him for weed. It's a win-win situation.
I deserve this hangover.
Woke up with a pineapple again... where do i keep on getting these ??
Randomize