I would make tea from her tampons just to see her tits
Friend I haven't seen in almost a year just IMed me to let me know that my mom stuck her boob out the window on the freeway at her.
Her mom responded by mooning my mother. I really don't know what's worse.
I'm about to cry with happyness at the beer that will be consumed
do you ever think like no deep thought could take place in the spanish language? like all they talk about is like tacos?
how high are you?
Please fuck him. And then let me tell her. And then let me protect you from the knife she pulls from her Ed Hardy purse. Please.
Just found a dugout in my rental car glove box. Suddenly my mood is upbeat.
id like to know how you successfully locked me in your backseat last night
you should break up with her....give her the gift of reality
Dude I am allergic to the candy dicks from that sex shop in Vegas. Come take me to hospital right now.
he was having a black light party and drinking manischewitz wine out of a three foot tall trophy he stole from mcdonald's...that's when I decided it was time to leave
I just want every freshman guy to know about Grindr just so I can have more options
I just want someone to put their head on my boobs and laugh at my jokes ....
How so I keep attracting the virgins? HOW?
You talk about your love for your ninja turtle onesie when you're drunk. Are you really surprised?
It's not even 8pm on a Friday and I've already got a guy to tell me how big his penis is. Watched anything good on Netflix lately?
A piece of your chipped nail polish just fell out of my crotch.
Randomize
