She's mad at me cuz I told her having a fuck buddy was too much commitment.
I'm out of vodka and money. My semester is officially over. The way I see it, my finals are just forms I need to fill out in order to leave campus.
There is a keg full of gin. THERE SHOULD NEVER EVER BE A KEG FULL OF GIN.
You're just telling me nice things because you came in my eye.
You told her to step on the scale because you had whiskey goggles, and scales don't lie.
Side note... I would pay good money to have witnessed the reaction of onlookers as I sprinted down Armtiage with a 15 lb bag of peanuts under my arm
Calling a preemptive no homo on tonight's activities
I've never seen a guy eye-fuck someone so hard in my entire life. I thought he would develop laser vision, bore holes into your body, and not even realize your innards would be spilling everywhere. That's how bad it was.
You can't just leave with hair like that
Just saw a dude take a shot in the parking lot in his car. Too early in the semester for that
My uterus feels like it went 8 rounds with Mike Tyson. And that was only a quickie.
I showed him my machete and then we made out in the kitchen
Had a dream I dropped the L word and immediately threatened to kill myself
You probably shouldn't be having nightmares about expressing affection
I'm peeing on your house...you up?
On a scale of one to 10 how Risky is it to sleep with a married man (all morals set aside)
Randomize
