So she said grabbing my cock was like holding a giant crayola from pre-school.
that was the beginning of the end.
I just had to explain to my father, how having two screens plugged into my computer doesn't use more internet.
it's a well known fact that sluts are attracted to bright colors
american apparel?
try lime green
sperm doesn't mix with malibu too well
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jungle juice + heels + stairs = broken arm
It's cute how he thinks we're going to have sex again
it's all just a bunch of faces and i remember what the floor looked like.
Hey when you wake up and read this, we really need to stop pullin our dicks out when we drink dude. I have all the pics, yall are assholes
New rule for Thursdays: no high gymnastics
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
No we don't really celebrate valentines day, we just use it as an excuse to drink 3 bottles of red wine and fuck for a few hours.
then he grabbed my tit and yelled "FOR NARNIA!!" then dove into my vag. i think I will do him again strictly for the entertainment value
It's only funny because he thinks you had sex with him to rob him.
In case I die. I'm in ares truck with a bartender named Dave from chuys. JUST IN CASE. And let the people know my last words were suck my dick. My like literally.
So I fucked a guy with his mouth wired shut last night never thought id cross that off my imaginary bucket list
You were out of control then you fell asleep on his lap for 30 min and woke up civil. Way to powernap to sobriety!
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