Call meee
Ok, but just to warn you, I'm as drunk as a Kennedy right now...
So it's like pop-o-matic trouble, but with penises
i thought he was 22...he said he was 25..he was 19...im 26..it doesnt count if you dont know right?
This kid is drunk.
I hope by "this kid" you mean yourself and not some child you have kidnapped and gotten wasted.
It's my fault there's ramen coiled around his penis.
I really really need to have and out of body experience just so I can talk to myself about this shit that I'm doing with my life.
Well I never thought in the future I'd be able to say "hey remember that Easter I made porn?"
I was wondering why he was in my phone as "Cat Guy", he seemed pretty normal. Then when we woke up he was wearing a shirt with a picture of his cat on it. The name stays.
I told him his only options were from behind or me on top. I was not about to mess up my $80 blow out before graduation.
Can you stop being a bitch and just take some Kaluha shots with me bro?!?
I left the brick of cheese in your car! Keep it at Moderate Temp! It's my precious!
You ruined a cute cat because your lack of horniness
Would you laugh at me if I told you I think I burned my nipples?
I gave him a hand job in the parking lot... now he thinks we're meant for each other...
The covid immunization shot lady also sold me a mondo bag of really good pot.
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