on the last problem of the exam i just drew a picture of a cat and left
I took the precaution of putting my macbook the one place in the dorm there is no way i can piss on it... the toilet
Talk me down man. Writing a paper drunk and about to buy Celine Dion's greatest hits.
I am sitting on the couch "eating" a frozen big bucket margarita with a spoon.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Clusterfucked is a frowned upon word in work related emails
Dude if you're not gonna answer them I'm gonna stop snapchatting you my hook ups
Just burnt my nuts with a cigarette. Don't ask. I hate life.
I'm taking a dab in mourning of how long its been since I smoked with you guys.
I tried to have sex on someone's sisters horse last night
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
His baby mama found the pictures of us, she couldn't see my face but she could see my asshole. So I'm safe.
We were drunk waiting for tacos and I gave him a handy in the back of the Uber while giving the driver relationship advice. I think I'm handling the whole grad school thing alright.
So is it weird that I am super excited for my new captain america clit ring... Or is my crotch getting too patriotic
My mom found me this morning passed out, face down on my dinning room floor
That must have been one awkward situation haha
Well I woke up in my bed.... I don't remember her finding me
well I ran around the park drunk with a plastic baby and fell, all while screaming "I WILL PROTECT YOU CARLOS", yeah there's video
I need weed and if he's hot, maybe he can supply me with sex too.
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