I was able to overlook the Affliction tee until he took it off and there was another tattooed on his body.
Was it at least attractive minus the Gargoyles or skulls... or whatever affliction is putting out these days?
Even a greek god couldn't pull it off. Told him I like Ed Hardy Better. Death Before Dishonor, baby. I'm sure it was a painful blow. hopefully he understands sarcasm.
I got otter pops to cool the beers, it's an all around better idea.
I just heard a woman call her child a butt face. Repeatedly. He's crying now. I love walmart.
yeah, and then after the convo was clearly over, my dad decides to scream "SIZE MATTERS" just to make things even more uncomfortable.
I just can't bring boyfriends home.
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I may have broken a few toes and my face hurts. I do know that I pissed the bed so at least I've got some closure there
Well at least he is okay. If you call the fetal position in my living room floor "okay"...
I have never smelled more like a drunk mariachi band than I do right now.
I got a blowjob dressed with a t shirt sweatpants and a Fanny pack. Not kidding.
Well it ended with everyone taking a bite out of a raw potato and a girl crying because her boyfriend wouldn't bring her any grape juice. So yeah...I'd say the night was a success.
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Thursday could be nutella day. You could make me a nutella sandwich and then fuck me senseless
so as he was cumming he sort of growled with one eye squinted... for a moment there I thought I was fucking Popeye
Also, there's a guy walking around the kitchen in a shark onzie, and he just asked if we've ever smoked weed with a shark before. I'm dying
It's one of the few times I hit fuck it levels of not caring
We just broke up and deleting his dick pics is the hardest thing I've ever had to do.
When you wanted to give that guy at McDonalds your number you asked the cashier if you could borrow "a pen or just like a straw with his blood on it". He gave you a pen.
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