Yeah we had sex for the first time last night and all the text he sent me afterwards said was “heh”
the girl next to me in class is drawing a guy banging a chick doggy style...its very detailed
She fell onto my light and broke all four plants. I don't care how good the blowjob was.
Resolution for 2011: blow jobs are a privilege, not a right.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
The meeting is at the same hotel we go to for sex. Avoiding eye contact with all the staff there.
Down at Ground Zero right now. So many people here. It's the most patriotic game of grabass Ive ever seen.
Sorry, they don't make maternity Power Ranger suits...
I should just black out in my front yard again- that was a great nights sleep.
I'm eating ramen over the toilet. Fuck my life
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I've been smoking weed using candles all week and I just found a lighter. This may truly be the happiest moment of my life. It's embarrassing how excited I got
Are we on the same shift tomorrow and more importantly do you want your pants back?
So, in keeping with the last two years, are we going to watch the new Hobbit movie on acid again? It's kinda starting to feel like a Christmas tradition.
IT IS NICKEL SHIT NIGHT
*shot. Why
Im so sorry for peeing on your chest.
Do you think the hole in the ceiling will count against our security deposit?
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