I blew a .224 after sleeping for 6 hrs, cleary im a champion
i would give spencer pratt a bj just so i could bite his dick off
he'd just find a way to get more famous from being a eunich.
I came home drunk to my night light on and a Hershey's bar on my bed. Mom knows me too well.
I'm a little nervous about this St. Patty's Day party. Seriously, we're still finding stuff from the Halloween party.
You know summer is almost over when ur school booty calls start hitting u up as if solidifying their spot in drunken mistakes for next semester
Shits getting dirty between us in her dad's bedroom. I'm talking early millennium rap and r&b
How is it that I've hooked up with not one but two guys in the children's section of a bookstore tonight?
At this point, just throw that mattresses away. Or bronze it and display it as a testament to your shame. either is good.
Again? Most people check out of hotels, they don't escape from them
I'm keeping track of how many times I've said "Shhh, act like you're not naked." in my life. So far, 3 times.
I just rode a horse than walked onto my property in boarshorts, flip flops, and holding a 40. What do I win?
Literally just inhaled three cinnamon rolls. Sara is staring. It was inhuman
I snapchatted him nudes and he didn't screenshot a single one of them because he's a gentleman.
Even with help how did you paint a bullseye around your asshole?
Bleach your asshole, I'm on my way.
Who is this?!?!
Randomize
