All drunkenness aside, confirm u are alive
We're hooking up, I have a toothbrush at her place, and yet on leaving her apartment a minute ago we said goodbye with a hi five. WTF?
You're upset about this?
I was too high to figure out which of the three doors would lead me to my classroom, so i sat down in the middle of the hallway and ate a twinkie.
He puts stickers to promote his new shirt company in every sack he sells. He's like the donald trump of weed
It went from cuddling and watching blood diamond to watching the three of them snort an entire $80 bag of blow off the coffee table
I would never do this in real life. It's only college.
this is not the first time I've had hot dogs and 151 for thanksgiving.
I am alternating between eating dry cheerios and mint chocolate chip ice cream with a fork. Please love me because no one else will
I spent a lot of time in their kitchen cause I was convinced that the living room was gonna fall... Sorry for not warning you about that.
just because the DWI class is located at the University does not make him a professor. I was duped, he is in no way, shape or form a professor!
It was marvelous. I was drunkenly conversing with my professor in some of the best Spanish I've ever spoken.
Do you remember telling our cab driver you were going to fuck a penguin?
WELL THEN WHAT DAY IS IT?!?! This whole having to choose between ruining my future and ruining my liver is totally killing my vibe
I just found a samari sword in the couch. I'm about to take like 5 shots and pretend to be captain jack sparrow
1. I drank goldschlager 2. I fell in a bathtub and hit my head (hard) on a soap dish. 2. I sat in said bathtub talking to a random stranger on vacation from wyoming (who i met at a 711 looking for taquitos) for almost an hour. 3. We got kicked out of said bathtub by owner of bathtub. 4. We had sex.
Randomize
