You know, I didn't realize this at the time, but it appears that I am being "heavily petted" by 3 grown men in that pic.
If these were biblical times then you'd be a Roman Senator.
i just saw my boxers from 2 days ago stuck in a tree 4 miles from my house
I woke up with a black eye and dim memories of announcing that i had super powers. I shoved my pockets full of canned tuna and tried to jump off the balcony. And then my boyfriend called the cops.
so you're not coming in to work today?
It was like little house on the drunk prairie.
It's a shame that I don't know his last name. Actually, it's an ever bigger shame that I don't know his first name
That's a really weird place to spoon. Especially if there are more accessible places to spoon. Like a bathtub.
It's just like riding a horse. A very tall, gay horse.
he busted in while i was showering looked at me and said "youve lost weight bro, no homo" and started puking into the sink
My neighbor just watched me eat a granola bar without pants, this is a whole new level of unemployed
It's been a wonderful constant drunkeness. We played Marco polo with some random like 8 yr olds in the kiddie pool.
U should feel bad.. u r like a sex politician. All talk and no follow thru
I'm hoping that by this time next year we will be smoking some weed at a gay wedding, asking "Mitt who?"
I couldn't find any flowers so I brought her a cat.
Sleeping with him wouldn't be considered hoeing out... It seems more like babysitting.
I may be a complete scumbag but even im not willing to spend a grand and sit on a plane for 24 hours just for shrooms and a blowjob
Randomize
