hell yes lets make some ravioli
Bein cut off at a bar is embarassing ...until you get to the next bar.
he got up in front of the whole lecture hall and yelled that Charlie Brown's Christmas tree was his favorite book in the history of the universe. then he stumbled out the fire exit setting the alarm off. I could've jumped him right then and there.
Lindsay lohan: road to jail is on E tonight. Bring vodka we are not missing an opportunity to make a drinking game out of this
He left with a pair of dress shoes, some goggles, and a shot glass. I think we should follow him.
Doubtful. That seems irresponsible. The 4th will kill you if you stopped drinking until then. Let's think logically.
i wish it would rain vodka just once. i have not puked yet bring it on
Safe to say I'm terrified but totally AMPED
I just used "et al" in a sext. I thought you'd be proud
You thanked your mom for the gymnastic lessons so you could do a keg stand
The fact that he quoted freebird as his breakup speech was a little more classy than expected
Not only do I have a well-defined bite mark on my arm, but I also have a perfectly clear bruise of a handprint wrapped around my arm like a tribal tattoo. Thoughts on how that happened?
I should probably just LinkedIn request everyone I've ever slept with so they stop popping up on my suggested connections list
He flipped a shopping cart in the back room and had to leave to make a jazz playlist. If we aren't in love then i don't know what love is.
i haven't seen you in two years and we have like 16 hours, all i want is cuddles, wine, and some light groping
Randomize
