hotel room ftw
never play flip cup with pint glasses
well my last 2 orgasms were over shoe sales at macy's. what does that tell you?
rainy day on campus = new personal fetish for girls in booty shorts and colorful rain boots
I'm sitting in the drive through at Mcdonalds right now watching the workers pressure wash the vomit I left from last night.
I was to drunk to drive all the way up there, so we just had rough phone sex instead
yeah i didn't know anyone, but i just walked in with a lit sparkler and wearing a budweiser shirt and someone handed me a beer.
Please stop hiding condoms in my house. If I want to have sex with you, I will let you know. FYI, my mom found the ones hidden behind the milk. She was not happy.
the tv said "its small, its comfortable..." and i started laughing... safe to say he lost any dignity he had left...
By the way seagulls wings are very soft. And the lesbian and or by sexual twins say hello. Be home in the little bit time frame.
I told you when I started the only reason I was gonna coach your kids soccer team was that I could meet all the hot soccer moms. So why are you so mad I slept with your ex?
Election Day 2016 shall forever live in infamy as the day when I hobbled through my neighborhood, mascara melting down my face, wearing one slipper and a cast, blood and cum all over my skirt, carrying a box of wine, and no one even noticed.
Refresh my memory....were we forced to leave or did we choose to leave?
Last time I was blackout at Cowbells I was running around screaming “WHERES THE BLOOOWWWW”
she gave me a ride on the back of her motor scooter and i swooned so hard
omg it's like all of your grease 2 fantasies come true i'm so happy for you
Randomize
