Walk of shame... his parents made me go to church with them first. in my club top sweat pants and slippers. i just slapped god in the face
how can i incorporate a boy scout uniform into what i do tonight?
This is one of the fundamental differences between you and I. If I found meat in a plastic bag, I wouldn't put it in my mouth.
Def drinking wine from a 4 liter jug at 11 am. If i call you in 20 years talking about 12 steps, please trace is back to this moment.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
...and the foreplay consisted of me threatening to cut off his hand if he didn't remove it from my back.
thank you for reminding me that I stumbled into a public place drunk at 9am wearing a chicks pants.
You were holding up a boot and yelling boot gang
Not to mention I think lunch is a little inappropriate when our relationship is only based on Mario kart and alcohol so far...
I could drive to your house and kick you in the nuts right now....and not even stop for a burrito
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
If muffins & morning blowjobs don't make him happy, frankly, I don't think anything will.
Sam was like the mother fucking Moses of drunk and underage kids and he lead them to safety away from the cops. He's a hero that we deserve.
Now in listening to Jerome Bettis speak at the hall of fame and my boner just started twirling a terrible towel
Is it rude to say "I hate you because you live inside Hillary Clinton's asshole"?
Rule number 1 of dorm living: do not forget your butt plug in the bathroom.
Had a job interview today. Walked into the room and said "IT'S GO TIME, BITCHES".
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