is it cool if i come over and use your computer?
what happened to yours?
i got a little to drunk last night and threw up on it...then i tried to wash it off under the sink.
He passed out while I was riding him, and just when I was about to call it quits he opens his eyes and squeezes my boobs and goes Honk! Honk!
I mean, I'd wanted to go skinny dipping, hook up with him and have sex on a beach, so last night I basically killed 3 birds with one super slutty stone.
Do you know how hard it is to get cum out of a straw hat!?
Just because its your birthday does not mean u can play quarters by dropping quarters into cups to make me drink.
I got arrested for "public intoxication". Fuckers threw me out of the bar into public... i mean shit they have thirsty Thursdays. And I get thrown out for self serve Sundays plus a citation.
15 year-old stoners have those problems. we're college students dude. dont be like that...
Holy shit he's circumcised. His parents must have really loved him.
Don't patronize me, I thought of that on peyote, so it was basically like a message from God.
I'm sorry I came to your house drunk and fed pizza to your dog.
Hey, you can't rush the perfect creeper shot. I need buffer time to hone my skills.
Ya it was crazy the power went just as she was about orgasm and the vibrator got fried with the power surge
I mean like, I missed 30 minutes of star wars to fuck you on Christmas so you must be worth something
None of these texts make sense. except for "step 2.5 equals velociraptor." that i get.
You kept running around yelling "I need my pajamas" & then you got naked. Shit just went downhill from there.
Randomize
