South Carolina's governor once cited "moral legitimacy" when he was a congressman voting for President Bill Clinton's impeachment. Karma is a bitch.
i was hoping the water fountain would somehow shoot out vodka this morning
Is being a pregnant whore worse than an average one?
after eating me out, he asked for something to drink. i gave him a glass of water and he said he needed something stronger.
Apparently I'm at the point in my life where I can wake up with a dick in my face and then go back to sleep
Your 13 year old niece and her best friend half carried you from the beach to the pool where you then clung onto a raft and screamed about having pretty hair.
my mom went out and bought me new sheets and redecorated my room. its like she's more excited for me to get laid tomorrow for the first time in two months than I am.
Pretty sure I asked the person at the pharmacy counter in Walgreens to marry me last night. But also remember Rachel Maddow crawling through the TV screen, so my memory might be a bit compromised...
Youre having a picnic
Yeah but all we have is vodka, so it's getting a bit out of hand.
Is using cherry lube as jam shameful or hilarious
The dicks good but it's not two trains and a bus good.
As he put it in he shouted "geronimo!"
Wow... So was the sex good?
Yeah but it doesn't matter. My vagina is not a pool.
I'm intrigued by how his mouth tasted the same as his dick.
When we got into his bed, his damn parrot started making sex noises in the other room
I couldn't be more proud to be a cougar. Just wondering how these twenty somethings learned how to fuck so well? Must be porn.
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