She'll never know what hit her
I dunno. Girls tend to recognize ball-to-chin contact.
omg, he ripped it...he ripped my vagina...best. night. ever.
she pooed on me. she actually pooed on me.
I just saw the preacher from the church I grew up in while I was buying condoms at the drugstore... he remembered me.
if I hooked up with that creppy kkid in bio does that count as doing charity work during the holidays?
is it bad that I only want to go to my boyfriends house bc I want to see his roomate walk around with his shirt off?
Ok lesson learned. Don't lick the spoon when making mushroom chocolates. The kitchen walls are melting.
I just found a bag of teeth...
He just sent me the contact information about getting the Zebra for graduation...
I drank, I fought, I made my ancestors proud.
And then someone hit me with a pool cue
Having boobs is probably the greatest thing in the world, free booze all around
Sooo a reasonable response to someone eating my lunch is to set the place on fire right?
So yeah, turns out I enjoy vaguely public group sex. Who knew?
P.s. I loved that your balls smelled like coconut
This is the second time you've stolen a pet when you're drunk, given it back and cashed in on a reward...I think you have a problem
Gotta pay my student loans some way
Randomize