We walked 2 miles, legit 2 miles, and purchased 7 half gallons. One for each of us. Intense
tonights recap: old cokehead freind proposed in the middle of a country bar to his trash girlfriend, saw ex-fuck who now has star shaved into his head and another with his gf, and ex-bfs best friends crackin jokes about who would fuck me first. NEVER COMING HOME AGAIN
She was singing my heart will go on into her barf bag. celine aint got shit on her.
I cant tell which is worse. That its only my third time doing laundry this year or that its the first time ive done it sober.
I just wanna be craddled in his arms and spoon fed applesauce..
that's the most romantic thing you've ever said.
You know you're at a low point when you're sucking vodka out if your hair.
I think I met somebody from your birthday this past weekend. He said I held a push up contest outside the bar and told them I would make out with the winner. He said he won..
This is what happens when wu tang raised you
I got so many dick pics last night. It was like a slideshow from heaven.
We did it to 80's cardio music. Talk about a workout.
I'm pretty sure I just smoked a chunk of cat food. Thought it was something else. No reply needed.
Its 9 am & i've been cleaning for 6 hours now with occasional crying bursts and two cocktails. Adulting 101.
can you tell me why i woke up in a diaper and combat boots?
I fucked a French man last night. 5 Times. Ashed my cig in his cactus. That later set on fire while we were having sex.
my near death experience doubled as my sexual awakening
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