Is it bad to mix sunny d with vodka if i dont have any real OJ?
I've mixd ketchup with vodka before and called it a bloody mary, so, no.
I just masturbated at work. Does that make me a prostitute since i just technically got paid to have sex?
hey what are you doing
hooking up with some marlborough girl. shes gorgeous!
i texted you because i like you, and i told my freinds you were my fiance. but sine we're not dating you're not cheating and i'm pathetic
I'm starting therapy this week.. Taylor Swift music isn't cutting it for me anymore
You found Muppets From Space a little too intense, so you just sorta sat on the ground and stared at the wall plug for an hour and a half.
After the VIP Latina experience at the strip club last night, I am rooting for Mexico in this years World Cup.
No He hasn't done that since the time he came in his own eye
Have you asked your drug dealer if he wants to see harry potter with you?
I see your walk of shame and raise you a day in jail wearing a girls old workout clothes.
"I gave a guy a handjob last night, on a dog bed, inside a fireplace. It's going to be a good year."
This chick had a microhand. Fucking, like, jerking off a baby carrot would make it look like corn.
Sex in your truck helped me start regaining feeling in my jaw. Thanks!
I answered the booty call in my Trophy Wife cutoff and my ex-boyfriends sweatpants with a bottle of jager.
and how was that received?
I think he just shit his pants. Yep he did. That's unfortunate.
Definitely didn't just make out with a guy the same height as me just because we wanted to see what it would be like to not have to reach up....
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