Sex has been so nonexistent lately that when I was masturbating the other day, I actually paused to yawn.
what the fuck were we smoking when we had a conversation about how my brother would be so proud if i fucked an orange alien?!?
but really, i care about skinny girls as much as michael vick cares about rotweilers
Is it mean that I just sent him a pic of my tits with the header, "say bye bye?"
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I was standing when I hit it. I barely made it to the couch before the walls started turning into people.
At some point i could of swore that you were in my bedroom riding a manatee last night..... I like my new dealer
he ate me out like 4 times and told me that my vagina "was too much fun".
I think your dick broke my retainer, I normally wouldnt care but my orthodontist died and I don't want my first appt to be blow job broken retainer with a new ortho.
Dad's already had 6 Zionist conspiracy rants and moms trying to detect any "dark energies" in my soul. You have 4 days before you return to this shit: ENJOY THEM
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
My dad sent me a 10 ft beer bong and my mom sent me ideas for future careers. I'll let you guess who my favorite parent is. Also, come over tonight. and bring beers.
I did all i could do but i woke up smelling like cigars and theres salsa all over my face
We just catapulted a jelly bean off of his hard dick into his mouth.......Happy Easter!
Like I don't care that he's a drug dealer, but I have a problem with his inefficient and ineffective business model.
He walked in on me masturbating and on my phone but got mad because I wasn't watching porn just tweeting
what a classic moment of my life. A buffet of taco bell and a taser gun.
Randomize