I wanna come home
And do what?
Kiss. Rip clothes off. Repeat.
non applicator tampons are so hard to put in when your drunk. i fingered myself for 10 minutes and forgot what i was trying to do.
I just saw a fat chick walking across campus talking to herself and licking her lips. Diet season is scary.
Also, do you think you think his dick is perfect bc you loved him? Or is it actually perfect?
I don`t remember Saturday, actually
Its ok, i dont remember 2007
no one could get around him on the stairs cause he surrounded himself with all the empties he could find, he said he was building a fort. then he passed out on them.
Can she stop putting up all these passive aggressive statuses and please come out of the "I-want-to-be-a-pornstar" closet already?
just found out they live across the street from coke dealers... rethinking the new years resolution
The to do list extremely baked self wrote for me last night says "1. Join gym 2. Passport? 3. Join a gym" And then just a drawing of a squid
He asked me if I wanted to play "Edouard Mandevan," turns out that's French for Edward Winehands
You are a magnificent human being. I love you from head to toe. This wine is DELICIOUS.
On a scale of zero to "unmitigated disaster," how drunk is he?
Yeah yeah, I don't care. I bought a super soaker, so lets please go attracting attention by spraying each other while wearing white tank tops?
Her son walked into the middle of the living room, took off his diaper, shit on the floor, smiled at me, and walked out, as if nothing happened.
So date night went well?
No but seriously. Just had a guy lean over and sniff my head like it was a freshly baked pie
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