Don't really want to talk about it. You were right. She had a whole jar of toenail clippings on her nightstand that she chews on "when her fingernails are too short." Direct quote.
So all semester this guy and girl have been talking, and today is the last class and we are doing nothing. I would have skipped but I want to see if he seals the deal or pusses out. It's like a season finale.
Great. My funeral dress now smells of smoke and disappointing sex.
Stumbled into class and into a desk. When I fell my bottle broke in my backpack. I had to leave there was vodka everywhere.
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i'm drinking whiskey out of a ziplock bag in a movie theater. i'm THAT girl.
He's more than prepared to help us move. Dude brought sunscreen, cans of Coke, and Captain Morgan.
No, no... it's pale and surrounded by awkward, curly, red hair. It's the Ronald McDonald of penises.
The chlamydia really affected his face.
Here's the thing, you got road head in two different cars tonight. You feel lucky yet?
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
My mother just made an innapropriate gesture with a cucumber while grocery shopping at whole foods... Then she said "bitches love cucumbers" and all this time i thought i was adopted
he didn't stitch me up last time. in fact, he yelled at me for bleeding.
It was just a matte of pubes and mustard.
Thanks for having me over last night. Sorry I licked rum off your kitchen floor.
Waxing your own asshole is awkward and difficult at best.
I fucked a 6 foot tall guy who has abs showing without even flexing... I am a wizard and I have magical powers.
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