but she was nice to me.
She was a fuckin STRIPPER.
bathroom sex at kohls isnt as trashy as it seems
after everytime she pucked, she insisted on us all giving her high fives
Sitting on the floor in my kitchen eating taquitos. Being this drunk the next day has lost its allure post graduation.
He started making shapes and faces with his cock and balls.... apparently if you wrap the shaft with your balls and turn it 90 degrees to the left it looks like a hamburger
I am gunna fuck the accent right out of her mouth
They all laughed at me when I bought that necklace from Life Alert. Who's laughing now?
two questions - what stuff of mine was pawned and who has the pawn tickets.
With me living this close to Mexico now, Tequila is just a geographical choice at this point if nothing else.
Last thing I remember clearly was, "ok, but if we're are gonna get drunk before class, there's no half-doing this"
Just witnessed a fat waitress doing whipits in the back of a waffle house.. my life seems a little brighter..
Did you really get up in the middle of a tattoo to go get Taco Bell?
I'm coming right back.
Look, the coffee machine died a noble death. It was the way it would have wanted to go. It was a mercy exploding, really.
I don't know what song to play at my bong's funeral!
Sensing a theme here
If alcoholism is a theme, yes.
Randomize
