I swear she didn't look like that last week.
My t9 writes chubies instead of bitches.
either way. win, win.
Whats the glycemic index on semen?
and all i could think was, am i really about to have sex with someone who still thinks that pee comes out of the actual vagina?
he was like a christmas ornament you would hang on the back of the tree....not great but still made the cut.
Please stop using the dehumidifier for your weed.
She counted 5,6,7,8 then intentionally kneed herself in the eye numerous times.
Apparently riding the dog like its a small horse is frowned upon in this establishment
Things I want for my birthday 1. a Chipotle grade tortilla steamer 2. a new liver
my window is missing, there is half a pizza jammed into the disk slot of my PS3, and the entire kitchen floor is covered in cerial i cant see any wood floor. did we have fun?
Cuz I feel like I ate the whole candy isle at 7/11 last night and chased it with rum
You pretty much did tho
He started tongueing his parfait and told "thats what I'd to your ass" in the middle of Starbucks. Of course i brought him home
I feel like a girl who eats her problems away with fast food.
When all else fails, you can always look down at your enormous penis.
You know its a good morning when you wake up with blonde hair extensions in your pocket. . .
I guarantee you he will only fuck with old bitches from now on
Randomize
