Facebook is asking me which Pokemon I'd be. Is there one whose only moves are gay sex and reading Adrienne Rich?
Well, according to foursquare I checked in "@under the bushes" at 3:27am. This could explain some things.
Let's go free Charlie Sheen and party with him
She made me role-play everything from an older prof to a in-patient in need of a medical exam. Yay for cocaine.
Do you think i can prewrite an apology on friday and leave it vague enough to just finish on sunday?
Sober now. I'm really glad I didn't try to make out with that guy who has a pregnant fiance
Don't tell me 'the Fonzie' doesn't work. Went to see Shakespeare high and gave the sign to the dude playing Macbeth. Now at a cast party getting blown. All hail the Fonz.
I'm sitting on my couch eating a bag of marshmallows and watching someone run bare ass down the street. What has happened to my life?
I found out his moms name, maiden name, profession, and office location, his dads name and profession, his home phone, picture of their house, all of his work profiles, and the cost of their house. All I'm trying to do is find his damn twitter
also I can check "jump into a moving car" off my bucket list if that tells you how tonight is going
So after we found out he wasnt throwing up blood in was just hawaiian punch and we all failed breathalyzers the cop drove us around like a taxi and brought us back to the apartment
I'm only gonna ask u this once. Y is there a picture of u only in superman underwear rubbin ur nipple on facebook????
Uh I can actually explain that one..
don't worry, i'll dog sit again, the barking made the sex better, its like he was cheering for us, we were just THAT good.
You told me that you couldn't come over because you felt like you were gonna die and that houses eat you when you die, and my house couldn't eat you because your house would be jealous. That's when I knew to take the bowl away from you.
They got skeletons in the booths to enforce social distancing.
Thought they were weekend at berniesing that shit at first.
Randomize