my mom is pro-life. I dare you to fuck me.
You said you couldnt get the condom on but "its the thought that counts"
Using 'equal to a modern day cock block" in term paper, inappropriate
i woke up in the fire place with a lighter in my hand. if i would have died the night would have made up for it.
I got groped on the dancefloor by both grooms. I love gay weddings
Probably shouldn't have worn my jeans covered in blood from last night to class.
Why did I wake up holding food tongs?
Oh I forgot to tell you that while you were in the bathroom last night I made friends with a gay man named Rodger from Venezuela and he kissed me cheek and told me I "knew how to shake my thing". From now on we go to the bathroom as a team.
First sex of the summer I'm winning 1-0
GET HOME NOW
Oh shit
Of course it may just be the context. A dish of dog food would look lovely next to your breasts.
I just want to trick people into going on dates with me so they can bring back to their houses and let me use their wifi.
The paramedics said she just kept whispering "I just wanted to party"
DO NOT LET HIM TAKE CONTROL OVER YOUR BOWELS
I dunno that I'd be trusting enough of junkyard tequila to drink it.
Drunk me made cabbage burritos at 1am after going to hustler hollywood.\nI bought socks. Lol
Randomize
