What are you doing?
High. Watching Billy Mays infomercials...
That guy could sell me cancer.
he made transformer sounds every time he changed positions. how do you think it went?
Hungover Fun Fact #4: Eating a grilled stuffed burrito WILL make you blow chunks in the ice maker at work.
its like she was born with a silver dick in her mouth
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
i lost virginity while listening to candy shop. something in my life has finally gone right.
Dude turns out her best friend is lesbian...there is no wingman for this situation
Everytime I see a couple on campus walking and holding hands I just want to yell he's gonna lie!
I don't know what's worse: going to the liquor store at 9am or knowing that its open at 9am
Ok so now that we've actually had sex do I get the last name or are u really witness protection status?
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I can only get completely wasted and hungry two more times and then we're out of fritos.
After she lost the bet I made her get on one knee so she could "Te-blow me"
On a scale of 1 to "bad descision", where does stealing my racist neighbors dog and giving him my roomates dildo for a chew toy rate?
The cop let me finish my J before he cuffed me. Coolest arresting officer ever.
My mouth taste like pussy and my dad noticed. Hahahaha
Just got offered cocaine at ihop. Stay classy America.
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