im going to forcibly insert an angry corn snake into his urethra
'Watching yourself cry on Photobooth' is the new 'watching yourself cry in the mirror.'
I've officially moved beyond college drinking. I just got business drunk at an internship seminar.
Just saw the first guy I gave head to lose in the french open...some how I feel better that my mistake made it to the same mistake as our relationship, the third round. Don't judge.
me neither. i remember bell pepper tequila but not why or yelling
Hahaha, I forgot about doing shots out of the bell pepper
New favorite drinking game: bobbing for jello shots. Where did these freshmen come from and when can we go there?
Omg. Some dude is jacking off in Kelly's bathroom.
I'm so high I would give anything in the world to be inside my lava lamp right now
Because everyone is allowed one half drunken 7:30 am walk back to campus in a cowgirl costume, right?
Its raining shots and i keep catching them in my mouth like you with dicks shits crazy
Would it be totally inappropriate to have his frat and our sorority Teebowing our exit from the abortion clinic?
I seriously had alll four of your knuckles bruised into my arm
And it's settled. 10 months is the appropriate amount of time before having the dick pic discussion.
He's bringing a lesbian pretending to be his girlfriend to family Christmas. I can not wait to see how this goes.
He was wearing a diaper to the party. I've never felt like such a creep in my life.
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