Is it wrong to scream your own name when about to bust?
Why can't I find a man that likes bush instead of a vagina that looks like it belongs to a prepubescent child!
Because men are children
Touche
Di me a solid and hit me with your car.
I looked her in the eye and told her I was 'balls deep' in love with her...She said that wasn't saying much. Time to drink away the sadness...
I took my shirt off and stood in the kitchen for an hour and a half talking to his parents about my tattoos
I remember all the people and all the acts I just have to match the person with the act
He goes "sorry was at the gym. Some of us workout " and I wanted to text him back and go "well some of us do occasional drugs so we don't have to"
It's like your tits told gravity 'fuck you, I'm fine right here!'
the second she challenged me to mario kart drinking game i knew i was in love
I'm by myself. some Midwest chick is hitting on me because I gave her a deviled egg. I need the distraction.
On a scale of "huh, that's interesting" to "holy porn stars, batman". How good?
Definitely closer to "holy porn stars, batman".
Well I'm nervous now about the consequences of letting you loose
It's a big decision, I respect that you need to think about it.
She's kind of holyer-than-thou, like god himself came down and said "please cock block your roommate at every opportunity, and if you think she's thinking of sex, tell her she's a whore"
I feel like I purchased a one way ticket to hell last night and its non refundable.
What does "mood AF" mean?
Mood as fuck.
Why did you comment that on a video of a gorilla throwing its own shit?
Randomize
