Hey look on the bright side if youre preg at least you know it and wont have it in a toilet
i think i just heard my dad finish in the other room...
Pretty sure I went to the bar in my bathing suit, sweat pants, and high heels.
I just saved him in my contacts as "Has 2 kids.. don't drunk text"
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
All we did was argue about ponys and drug dealers
There is a contact in my phone named "Bar Mcntysu." this is why we need a third person to go out with us.
I'm just high and in my robe and I would suck a dick for some pizza rolls. I can't talk about your problems right now
She refuses to believe she pulled down her pants and spanked her ass in front of us
I still think the kiddie pool full of jello option is worth exploring. Just sayin'.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
You need to come back and help me drink our beer so the fridge has room for the other beers
Everyone is now just referring to it as "the night Hannah couldn't get laid" so needless to say you didn't miss much
Miscalculate d the jungle juice, it's actually 10%. Can't taste the diff anyway but my stomcha is warm. Come play pongm.
I just sent my ex off to a party, threw a condom at him, and told him to make good choices.
Do I get bonus points if I get lockjaw after a cosmic blowjob?
Someone needs to get Mark off the roof. I told you that he doesn’t shut up about ancient Egypt if you give him henny.
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