is swine flu sexually transmttd?
Ha no, why?
sriously ive never had a hangovr this bad
We did like every position then did it again this morning. Something about him being the little boy i used to make sand castles with just made it way hotter.
well done
So I was throwing up in this fancy toilet at a party last night, when he decided it would be funny to flush it. It was a beday. I had to walk out with toilet water and regurgitated rumpleminze all over my face and shirt.
he cried for an hour, then he threw up on my lap then started singing party in the usa...opera style...
It's nice to see a girl prepared for the walk of shame. She brought headphones
False alarm it was margarita mix all over my hands not blood
They kept trying to slap each other but they were poring beer onto their hands first referring to it as their baby powder
we've called him dos banos ever since he threw up in 2 separate bathrooms with the same puke
I'm just high and in my robe and I would suck a dick for some pizza rolls. I can't talk about your problems right now
Hey. I thought you were saving your 80s playlist til marriage.
This hickey is now green and covers half my neck. I have an alien hickey. I think he thought my neck was dinner.
I still can't believe that I ate McDonald's off of my chest in his bed...
Cross faded me is not the classiest.
No not at all haha I wish there was a picture of that
Hey. Im sorry to bother you but I just watched the seinfield episode about faking an orgasm and it caused me to second guess myself. Were you satisfied?
The girls said some drunk guy in footie pajamas was asking for me when they opened the doors. I thought we agreed you were gonna stay home and microwave me some bacon.
The Domino's delivery guy is in front of me at The Wendy's drive-through. Hmmm.....
Randomize
