Correction, I've been on a lot of dates and a lot of dicks
I think I just sold my virginity for plane tickets
it makes more sense than having a misplaced asshole
im not talking about this
I just past a guy who was biking and double fisting wit glass beer bottles. That is what i call talent
I can't be drunk. Sober yes. Drunk no. Spoonfuls
After I gave him a handjob for a half an hour he told me I should be a taxidermist. I'm gonna take it as a compliment.
So my birthday was awesome. Only remember 45 min of it but I woke up with a girl on the couch and a half bowl of ground beef
Well were gunna have to wash the couch cover now...maybe even the couch, soap or fire your decision
Hey, remember when Hot Stuff played in the back of the ambulance? Or no, cause of your concussion...
He's sweet and rough. A wonderful contradiction. He's the starburst of sex.
you know i have almost 1500 fb friends but not ONE drunk booty call?
I climaxed at the same time the bass dropped. I think it's safe to say I've reached enlightenment
If walking through the neighborhood with a bottle of tequila and margarita mix is postgrad life, I'm okay with it
Someone wrote "LazerSwords" on my cock last night. My erect cock. Tequila is no one's friend.
He’s disease free and drives a Porsche. What else does a girl need?
Randomize
