We can't ever have kids because there's a chance that they'll end up just like us.
I told them you could toss a salad like wolfgang puck
I am no longer a man. I just realized I prefer Spongebob to college football.
i have more money on itunes than i do in my bank account... college.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
It wasn't until i was on my knees with three dicks in my face that i thought it might be a bad idea
Suuuuuuper drunk and just sang fuck her gently to the chiminea. I'm in bad shape.
there is no amount of schooling that prepares you for when your morbidly obese 45 year old patient tells you she has her clit pierced.
Just walk straight and zig zag through cars tell you get to the road. That's where I am. Perpendicular to the doors do not make any turns
Night is still young. Puking guts out part of it just began
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
She spilled creme de menthe on her crotch and I told her she looked like a menstruating Vulcan (costume idea!). Obviously, I went home alone.
gymnastic barn sex. fuck i wish i hadn't blacked out
So to add to headbutting the microwave while waiting for my hot pockets to cook. I apparently told both bartenders earlier in the night I was going to fuck them both. I hate black out drunk me..
The hint wasn't even a hint. it said "stop talking to her" that's pretty straightforward
I'm officially disproving the fact that a hoe never gets cold bc this hoe is COLD.
The REAL engagement ring is the jeweled butt plug.
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