Just got mistaken for a cardboard cutout ad in line at Taco Bell. New low?
He yelled IN THE FACE!! while cumming on my face.
we just pregamed for our presentation... gotta love group bonding
isnt it sad that we can reminisce about our childhood but we cant remember shit we did last month
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
As one final fuck you to the courthouse i'm paying the rest of this ticket with sacajawea coins.
As a female I reserve the right to put my ipod in my cleavage because I have no pockets and not get judged by other girls right??
i'm having the hardest time convincing my roommates to go dumpster diving for pizza with me. i really miss you..
I was too sleepy and drunk to verbally annihilate anyone and ruin their reason for being. So i just opted to sleep with the fitted sheet on the floor
He equated my biology degree to a belief in Santa. I wonder if he heard the doors to my vagina clanging shut.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I'm trying to seductively eat these M&M's to let her know its on
How the fuck did I get back? Last thing I remember is being on some hot guy's shoulders yelling at girls shaking their asses
We'll talk about it later...
Hey guys.. So I accidentally broke the front door last night
I'm constantly crying, and now I start crying every time I masturbate which is a fun development.
I left the party 20 min ago..just thought i would tell you so you wouldnt think i fell in the lake again
3 hour lecture of my biology teacher talking about isotopes and space shuttles. I'm way too high for this.
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