lol you are funny thanks bro I'll take you to a strip club
I don't wanna go to a strip club I'd rather get my boobs free or earn them from a series of good deeds
Ha! What's wrong with that? Hard work deserves compensation. I accept cash, checks, and boobies!
If I ever start a band I'm gonna name it "Nancy Reagan's Vagina"
you used to get mad at me for mentioning 'unprotected sex' and happenings in my bed
well yeah, but then i realized the wisdom of your ways.
his roommates stood outside the locked door reading bible verses to us the whole time...
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Don't EVER smell your tampon
i have now been nicknamed the screamer on the first, third, fourth, & six floor by all the ra's. only two more floors to go before i cover the entire dorm.
his grandma walked in on us. twice. and he was truly fucking surprised when i put my pants back on.
were lost, were cold and we don't know what to do with the stray cat we found.
Where are you and who are these girls passed out on the floor?
and why are they spooning a flamingo?
they traded weed for a spot on our floor. be nice.
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I wonder what it's like for my roommate to live bicuriously thro my sex life
IF I CAN STICK YOUR DICK IN MY MOUTH, I CAN STICK MY GUM ON YOUR NIGHTSTAND.
I hate being near you and not being able to do what I want. It's like a recovering alcoholic tending bar. I feel like Sam Malone. Except I can't bang the cute chick I work with.
whatever the appropriate amount of shots is to consider drunken acrobatics a good idea was a few less than I actually had
Just think of your bundle of joy thats on its way. And how hes gunna rip your vagina apart
Die.
Just taking a shit and realized the captain planet theme song is stuck in my head.
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