I just had sex with a black guy. He told me I had a big dick. I think that's God's way of saying it's okay to be gay.
Thanks for the birthday present, i had so much fun playing with it
Are you talking about my vagina?
all ten of us were sitting in his room with the lights off and staring at his colorful moving screensaver for two hours. That high.
My valentine's day: watching The Notebook, and porn, eating chocolate, and ice cream. All while jacking off.
Wow... you've managed to cover all of the sad girl stereotypes that exist.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Double fisting Gray Goose bottles. We've officially ruined her.
hey..i found a takeout box with a half-eaten hamburger in it, the box said to text this number if found...
Yes but from my experience being high around your own baby makes you feel like the worst kind of mom
I would drive 12 hours round trip for you to have an orgasm, cause that's friendship
someone just "made it rain" kraft processed sliced cheese. i forgot what it was like to be home...
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
You thought the flashing lights were strobe lights when they were loading you into the ambulance. You asked the EMT if he had any X.
He pulled out a Plan B pill and handed it to me as I left like it was a party favor. God Bless America.
I'm at forever 21 and someone pooped in the dressing room.
FYI brushing your teeth & taking off your makeup does not erase the shame from the night before
You can't say that. Only if you have peed on the side of the highway in daylight while signing Christmas songs can you say that.
That's nice of you to be concerned, but I'm pretty confident I'll marry someone 30 years older than me, ride out being the trophy wife for 10 or 15 years, then live large!
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