Wtf. Who made this Big Mac, Helen Keller?
She wanted to test if her costume allows her to still have sex in it. It does
just threw all of the fireworks into the bonfire. thats why there are firetrucks.
Only in this snowstorm did have I realized the lengths I'll go to to get laid.
We left the window open. My vibrators funeral is at 2ish.....bring a side dish or some shit.
the cop didnt laugh with me when he patted me down and pulled out my flask.
Say something like you want him to fuck you behind a McDonald's. Guys secretly love weird shit like that.
Honestly, it's not that easy picking a Saturday night outfit that can translate to Palm Sunday mass. Priorities.
remember.. you're not a homewrecker.. you're just creating options for him..
Apparently drunk me thinks it's a good idea to put drops of acid in assorted open drinks in the fridge... This should be a fun week.
I've smoked enough weed to put down a pony.
Is there a word in the English dictionary for impressed, yet disgusted?
I think the word you're looking for is flabbergasted.
If a cougar buys you pizza and wants to show you her newly-won house, you have sex with her. It's the law. Just being all the man I can be dude
She just won 2 Grammys at 17 and were sitting here hotboxing our half bathroom
After we had sex he went to the kitchen, came back with a bag of funyuns and ate them buck ass naked in his bedroom doorway. Had no idea how to react to that one.
Randomize
