I'm peeing chunks and puking liquid. Did I at least have fun last night?
If it was for sex do you really think i would asking for a mass vote? I'm like fidel castro when it comes to sex. No public approval needed.
some guy just got out of his chair quietly. Laid down on the floor and is now asleep in between rows in my lecture hall. He must have had a rough night.
No, he grudge fucked my ex so I wouldn't be tempted to get back with her. He is either the worst or best friend ever.
she is like cheap alcohol. you can only get so buzzed before you get sick.
Now accepting hypotheses about how i managed to get a bruise between my boobs....
How many tongue depressors should I need to steal from urgent care to make samurai armor?
She gatecrashed the wedding and managed to get an invite to the open bar reception. Lucky bitch
He didn't call me beautiful but he came in less than five minutes so same thing, right?
Me too like the fact they didn't arrest me wants to send them an edible arrangement
My only contacts are booty calls or the club hockey team.
My mom just asked me about the teeth marks on my headboard..
she was sitting with her tits completely out.. on the kitchen floor..eating pickles by the handful... rapping mac dre... and then lit up a cig and continued...that drunk
she wouldnt leave because they were playing One Direction. I'm dating a thirteen year old.
i haven't seen you in two years and we have like 16 hours, all i want is cuddles, wine, and some light groping
Randomize
