Yeah and Nick is shooting his loaded 9mm in his backyard.
worst 3rd wheel sitch ever. i'm crammed into a booth with him and chubs mcgee and his hand is between her legs. thank youuu karma.
just took batteries out of my vibrator to play wii guitar hero. think i am gonna regret that move later tonight.
We walked in and they were fucking to Somewhere Over the Rainbow... I need a new roommate.
He seriously just asked the doctor if taking the medicine for chlamydia was going to cut into his drinking time. Never let it be said that he is not dedicated.
If I ever mention marriage force me to Brazil to do coke and strippers until I die.
On campus. Grown men in women's sexy bee costumes. Complete with legwarmers. This cannot be real life.
Don't come. It's not even a party it's a total sausage fest. Like 20 drunk dudes in a bedroom. We can still drink by ourselves though it'll be ok
Doing a circuit workout and using a power hour playlist for my 1 minute timers. I am getting old. creative, but old.
what the hell is that chicken wire thing she's holding?
An artistic expression of her stupidity.
He had to put the child locks on the windows so you would stop screaming at random boys
I have a sixth sense for large penises and lack of morals
Is Facebook telling the truth about your nipples?!
All I know is I woke up cuddling a jar of peanut butter....
I'm naked, eating straight Nutella, and listening to "Make you feel my love" on repeat. So no. He didn't ask me out.
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