is it bad if i hope guys are like edward cullen and can read my mind. i could be a whore in disguise.
epic walk of shame this morning involving 2 subway transfers. I need to start sexing locally.
i just saw a guiness commercial where the guiness was on the verge of spilling the whole time. i was on the edge of my seat scared shitless. im an alcoholic.
you went around grabbing cigarettes out of peoples mouths and claiming you were curing cancer.
Our phone convo was getting intense. Then I heard her say "quiet mommy is trying to have phone sex"
I mean he's a cool ass guy, but he's genuinely in love with a fat chick. I just can't take him seriously as a person.
I'm getting flash backs of last night. They're coming in song form.
come parachute off the vicodin airplane with meee
He said "you speak American pretty good for a Canadian" and it took everything in me to still fuck him. Dry spell ended btw
That guy was cool until he tried fighting that dude in the bow tie. I need better wingmen.
Who put the fucking tampon in my Mike's hard lemonade?
Saw my drug dealer at Easter mass with his family so that was weird
This dude is trying to sext and all I can think about is taco bell and their new crunch wrap sliders
This guy knew what he was doing. Most guys can't find the spot even if it shot off a flare and played a kazoo.
He said when the pizza came I zip locked one slice and went to the couch and snuggled with it. Does that give you an idea of how my night was?
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