Something clean will definitely be barfed on tomorrow.
We're like two naked peas in a sex pod.
Thank you for holding my vodka while the police let me ride their horse.
he was screaming in a recently acquired accent that he paid for delivery and they could cancel the entire order if they didn't come upstairs
I thought you said it was going to get worse not hilarious.
the delivery boy turned out to be my students mother. now she knows that i have incredibly low standards AND thanks to the fact that he still has dialup the pizza tracker was way off and she rang the bell and he answered mid bong rip.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I said i love rain, just to change the subject, and he said 'id like to do it in the rain'. Dear lord. He doesnt stop
Whatever you do to me, stop, I found yet another blonde hair in my asshole.
And i didn't ask you to do that, You showed your penis at your own free will.
she looks like she scalped a horse for her weave
I literally just wrote "I'm sorry" in my blue book, got up and walked out
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
The countdown is at hand. We are 15 days from so much Jameson that names will be forgotten. Prepare your liver now or severe projectile vomiting will be the theme of the night.
I feel like this has turned into my work. But if I get paid sitting under a desk, that's perfectly fine with me.
Rainbow fish was a wild success, got wasted at 6 gave away most my scales and made out with max from where the wild things are.You'd be so proud
I'm not worried. All I have to do is not be the drunkest painter at 8:00. Golden.
seriously they are like going to hulk burst through. There are perks and downfalls to having big boobs
"Plot twist... I'm straight."
Randomize