what do kids with lesbian moms do for father's day? like do you talk about it? is it awkward? do you get the butchy mom a card?
did it hurt when the cum got in your eye
not so much hurt, more like a stinging sinsation like mouthwash
she's like bobby knight all she does is scream and point
Fucking Canada. At least when they wake up tomorrow they're still in Canada
I lost count of how many people I peed on last night.
the theme of the baby shower is Nightmare On Prego Street
Really? How much of his life do you think he remembers? I'm pretty sure 75% of it qualifies as "kind of a blur".
Is it appropriate to put "Mommy and Daddys shitfaced-ness that led to Aubrey" on a birth announcement?
Well you two just had a kid in the middle of college, I dont think anyone will notice.
Thanks bro
just watched a cripple ollie in his wheelchair to get on to the elevated floor in the bar. I. LOVE. WISCONSIN
In the bath trying to absorb water through my skin because I can't drink it.. That hungover
Well I just found the most comfortable way to pass out on my toilet if I ever have to.
Its a good thing to know for upcoming events.
Did I just hear you ask Siri about the meaning of life?
I had a spiritual reading tonight and my dead grandmother called me a whore.
I really need to get a comfy set of masturbating shoes
my near death experience doubled as my sexual awakening
Randomize
