So how Liz Lemon is this? I bring a boy home, we get in bed, and I realize there's a lean pocket wrapper in the sheets.
theres a dog humping me and im not going to stop it... i really need to get laid.
NoDDING MY HEAD LIKE uyuEAH MOViUNG MY HiPS LioKe YEAhhhhhhhhhhh
wow.
Here. I am here. I do not know where here is but it includes condom balloons, a keg castle, and a shaved goat. Do not find me...I am in post blackout heaven.
It didn't get weird until she took off her underwear, looked down, and said "fill her up!"
we started pounding beers an hour ago to celebrate our personal snow day tomorrow. vodka shots for u of i's actual decision are on standby.
Dude in front of me just jumped out of line at Starbucks to go puke. Vegas in prime form.
When I take mushrooms I can feel your presence down there. I can feel where Africa is too.
Double vision is so hot when a big dick is in sight. Thank you Bud Light.
He just kept repeating "not with an octopus" over and over for hours. Soooooo Porn Dare was a succes.
The forecast for tonight is alcohol and low expectations.
You're the only meteorologist I listen to.
Believe me honey Imma fuck the discount out of at least one plastic surgeon in my life
I'M IN A SPINNING VORTEX OF SELF-HATRED AND HORNINESS
My vagina! What have you done to it?
Blessed it my child.
he's fucking insane. he's worse than me. is that even possible? I'm only with him because his dick is huge. I need Jesus.
Randomize
