I wonder how skeet ulrich feels about the skeet skeet phrase and and what it denotes.
you should have heard her the other night. no sentence related to one preceding it. it was like she was in etch a sketch and when she moved she forgot everythin
the owner gave me a free bottle of vodka and a 12pack of red bull if i agreed to leave. my drunken antics are finally paying off.
omg he fucking fingered me this morning. and i was just like this is the most awkward alarm clock ive ever had
pretty sure if my vagina had a mouth, it would have been smiling afterwards.
He's bringing condoms over for me in case we "bone".... the fact he calls it boning is not a great start.
I don't remember anything past "we have 15 minutes to drink this keg."
Zip lining have a big frozedn drink with 151 rum chippendale pic life is GREAT
I am pretty damn sure that neither my body or his body is ready for how drunk I am getting tonight
In the middle of me riding him, he stopped me and said "You're the kind of person who would be restrained for being obnoxiously drunk on an airplane, huh?"
I found a door knob in my purse this morning, I hope whoever it belonged to doesn't need it today.
hahahah
Seriously I am not buying you condoms anymore. You're 22, if you aren't woman enough to buy them yourself then you don't deserve orgasms. Grow some tits.
After we finished having phone sex he proceeded to serenade me with Ave Maria. It was magical.
Guys are like someone else's baby; i'll play with them but if responsibility is involved i'll hand them off.
Mass text: You have all failed me. How have the people I loved so much let me go so long in life without ever eating a McRib sandwich?!
Randomize
